I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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