I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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