i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
