....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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