You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
