Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
