hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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