Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
