All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
