Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
