so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
