She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
