Non-Jews are for practice
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
