I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
