I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
