He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize