Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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