I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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