...so i touched it.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Little spoons don't ask big questions
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
