p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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