he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
