Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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