I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She's the barista slut.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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