My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The best revenge is premature balding
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize