Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
