i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
