Pants 0. Shit 1.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
