We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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