is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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