mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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