i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
