Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
