So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
