I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
