you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I don't want my vagina anymore.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
