I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
