Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Actions speak louder than pants.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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