oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
