My nipple is on Facebook.
I want to make a zoo with you.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
