brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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