Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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