In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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