we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The power of my boobs compel you
Ladies don't puke and tell
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
