Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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