Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
