Are we in a gay sports bar?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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