Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
try to milk me bitch
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