Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
