Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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