so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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