I take back everything I said about communal showers
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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