You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
