i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We left the knife in your bed.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
