If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
