Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
