Farmville is her only friend.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
