I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sorry about my life...
not ubering you a puppy
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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