is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
