I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
