Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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