Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
